“WILL TRADE MASSAGE FOR DINNER W/ YOU.”
I had a fleeting image of taking a cute hipster homeless girl (with plaid, bangs and lovely eyes) out to dinner and then talking about life & existence while she gives me a candlelight back massage (I love massages) in my house, which may lead to something else, out of her immense gratitude and obvious attraction to my charming & intelligent demeanor.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t being held by a cute hipster homeless girl with plaid, bangs and lovely eyes, with a penchant for back massages and gratitude.
Rather, it was lying on the sidewalk, abandoned.
That’s sad, folks.